Bookit & Chargem

	25.08.04
	Platinum Award

	23.08.04
	Lost Years

	14.08.04
	Chip & Pin

	09.08.04
	Bullion Heist

	15.07.04
	Naked Ambition

		25.08.04
		Platinum Award B&C are pleased to announce that we have become the first firm ever to achieve Platinum status in the profession’s annual client satisfaction survey. With a response rate of an incredible 99.95%, 100% of those clients who completed the survey said that they were ‘unbelievably satisfied’ with the quality of the advice and service they receive from B&C. One typical comment was: ‘They are just fantastic. I have begged them to take more money but they will insist on sending me these ludicrously reasonable bills.’ Another client wrote: ‘My husband was troubled for years by panic attacks whenever he got a letter from the Inland Revenue. Since he started using B&C, it’s the Revenue who panic! I’m sure he’ll be utterly delighted as soon as he gets back in touch with me. Would anyone who was in the north Stratford area where his burnt-out car was discovered please, please ring me if they have absolutely any information. We’d like to take this opportunity to say a BIG thank you to all our clients who took part in the survey. And, of course, our most sincere commiserations to Mrs Pickavance on her sad loss following her husband’s failure to submit his form, despite repeated reminders. Back

		23.08.04
		Lost Years It seems that a number of our clients have lost the combined year planner and calculator that we sent out at the beginning of the year. This sort of thing has got to stop. By mid-September we will be issuing our year planners and calculators for 2005, and would remind ALL clients that it is their responsibility to ensure that these are kept in good order and up-to-date. Snap inspections may be conducted at any time of the day and night by our security advisers, and sanctions imposed on those who are not making proper use of our equipment. Repeat offenders will be liable to termination without further notice. Back

		14.08.04
		chip & pin No, it’s not one of those irritating American cartoons that the kids will insist on watching at full volume when you’re trying to have a lie-in at the weekend! It’s the new technology to improve credit card security by replacing easily-forged signatures with a unique Personal Identification Number that must be keyed in by the cardholder to authorise each transaction. This new system will become operational across the UK during 2005. To ensure that all our clients are prepared – whether they are retailers operating the new terminals or customers who will use them – B&C have organised training days which are available entirely free of charge. To reserve your place, just ring Mandy Luddite at our Stratford office with your name, date of birth, home address, credit card numbers and corresponding PIN details. Back

		09.08.04
		Bullion Heist B&C are privileged to announce the latest addition to their growing client list, with their appointment to provide a completely outsourced accounting service for the prestigious specialist removal firm, Bullion Heist. Senior partner Mick Bullion said: ‘We looked at other accountants, but Bookit & Chargem were the boys who really spoke our language. When it comes to divvying up the spoils after a successful removal operation, we want advisers what can count and ain’t afraid to speak their mind. Or to break a few fingers. Know what I mean?’ His colleague Ernie ‘Fingers’ Heist added: ‘That Bill Bookit is a diamond geezer, who has already given us a brilliant idea for diversification. Into diamonds.’ Back

		15.07.04
		Naked Ambition B&C’s willingness to go the extra mile for their clients can scarcely be better – and certainly not more titillatingly - illustrated than by our annual audit of the Allit Brae Naturist Resort on the outskirts of Stratford. For the last three weeks a team of B&C auditors, under the personal supervision of Senior Partner Bill Bookit, has been working at Allit Brae in a state of total nudity. As well as identifying scope for helpful improvements to the resort’s heating and catering facilities, our team has won Supreme Champion status in volleyball, barbecue management, fire-eating and darts. Said Bill Bookit: ‘It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it. I only wish I could think of somewhere to put my calculator for safe-keeping while I’m away from my desk!’ Click here for the link to our exclusive Allit Brae picture gallery Back

Bookit and Chargem is a fictitious firm of accountants.
Any relation to any person (living or deceased) or corporate entity (trading, dormant or wound up) is entirely accidental.